Selected collection of most funny and short love quotes and sayings.
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
– Melanie Clark
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
– Cecilia Egan
Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
– Fulton J. Sheen
A light heart lives long.
– William Shakespeare
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie
Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.
– Phyllis Diller
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
– H.L. Mencken
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
– Brendan Francis
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
– Woody Allen
All marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
- Shelley Winters
True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
- Rod Boschim
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
– Albert Einstein
No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.
– Joyce Brothers
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
It is impossible to love and be wise.
– Francis Bacon
The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.
- Bacon Carlyle
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
– Joan Crawford
Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
– Joan Rivers
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
– Louis Jordan
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
– Samuel Johnson
You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
– Rita Rudner
A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
– Thomas Hardy
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
– Woody Allen
Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
– Oscar Wilde
Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.
– Cher
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
– Woody Allen
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
– Bette Midler
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
– Lily Tomlin
It’s been so long since I made love, I can’t even remember who gets tied up.
– Joan Rivers
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.
– Natalie Wood
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
– Rita Rudner
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
– Henry Kissinger
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.
– Woody Allen
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
– Katharine Hepburn
Marriage marks the end of many short follies – being one long stupidity.
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
– Tommy Dewar
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
– Agatha Christie
When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
– Mark Kissinger
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
– Erma Bombeck
Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
– George Carlin
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What… does a woman want?”
– Freud
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
– Somerset Maugham
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
– Albert Einstein
Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
– George Kissinger
Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
– Mark Twain
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.
– Cher
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
– Walt Disney
Shopping is better than sex. At least if you’re not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
– Adrienne Gusoff
Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!
– Cecilia Egan
I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.
– Dudley Moore
Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
– Glenn Beck
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
– Woody Allen
When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you. And she never did.
– James Fineous McBride
Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.
– Sandra J. Dykes
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
– Melanie Griffith
